8/20/09

For all you moms out there...

I'm not a mom, but I have noticed that we, as women, tend to judge each other. A lot. (Your eyes are rolling, right? You're thinking, "Duh, Katie. It's like you just told me that grass is green.")

But I've been thinking, whatever stage of life you're in - whether it's when you're single & looking for love/sociality, when you're newly married & looking for where you fit in between the singles & those with kids (ahem), when you're married with children & figuring out that balance of you vs. mommy time, or when your children are grown & you suddenly find yourself trying to relate to your spouse on a real level again - we all face the similar challenge of judging & being judged. I don't want to call this a female trait, because I have known several males who also openly & harshly criticize, but sadly, in my various jobs, I have known too many women who like to cut each other down. Often, this is just for the sake of cutting someone down. I don't get it. And yet, I find myself comparing - well, anything & everything, including what makes me me, far too often.

I found this link today that made me smile. It has a few objectionable words, but I agreed with the premise. Moms need to stop judging each other. One style of parenting isn't necessarily better than another. Home births versus hospital births still produce beautiful, healthy children. Bottle versus breast feeding, in the long run, doesn't really matter. Whether your kid cries it out or sleeps with his parents doesn't do any detrimental harm to him when he's an adult. The point is - we need to stop trying to impose our way of mothering on others, trust our own instincts for our own children, and be happy for everyone struggling through motherhood.

I would take this one step further. Why don't we, as women, try harder to lift each other up, rather than making pointless comparisons? Why don't we cheer each other on in this race called life & stop making harsh assessments of others? I think we'd do a lot better & find such great peace if we could attain this. (And believe me, I'm working on it too. This post is more for me than for anyone...I really just wanted to share the link.)

Ok, I'll get off my soapbox now...even though I think I'm sharing something important. Take it as you will.

4 comments:

Ana said...

I agree, and yet, I'm probably the world's WORST offender! :) I'm trying to get better though!! How's life?

G Sauce said...

I liked that alot!

Kelly M said...

You're so awesome! Great post, and great reminder. Thanks! You're gonna be an awesome mom someday- seriously. :)

Teresa said...

Amen Sister!!

I really appreciate your & Ginnie's examples & how you're always trying to teach this old dog some new tricks :>

Heavenly Father knew I needed sisters in this life so he sent me two amazing daughters.