Updating

So all three of you who actually check my blog have asked why I haven't posted in awhile. Part of it was laziness, but part of it actually had to do with what's been occupying my time lately, namely work.

I had a feeling something was up with work more than a month or so ago, but I kept pushing it to the back of my head. Then, this past Friday, my manager sends me an email with a personal review outline on it, telling me that we would chat about it on Monday. (I was already nervous enough without that, because I had a date on Friday I was really looking forward to.) For some reason, I knew. I just knew. That the personal outline was going to put me on probation, or worse. So I stewed about it most of the weekend and even got dad to give me a father's blessing to calm me down. The blessing was awesome. It was like an answer to prayer, and I genuinely believed everything would be fine.

So I marched into my manager's office Monday morning, ready to discuss the personal outline I had worked so hard on over the weekend. (I should explain that, at my office, personal reviews are in the handbook and supposed to be done a lot, but most managers ignore them.) My manager was shocked that I actually took any time with it, and then asked odd questions about where I wanted to go in life, what my career aspirations were, etc. until I finally realized where she was going. I said, "Wait a sec - I'm getting fired, aren't I?" And she nodded her head yes. I was calm and collected about it for around 15 minutes until I suddenly & randomly burst into tears. She told me that I wasn't getting fired per se, but that the department was being cut, and so was my position along with it.

The thing is, I totally agree with the CEO's reasoning behind cutting me off, and my manager's right - she's nearing retirement age, and she wants to train a replacement, and I'm not it. (I told her as much.) However, the way the entire thing has been handled - and the timing - really sucks. I have yet to hear from the official people who will fire me...I've seen them a couple of times this week and they choose to ignore me or walk the other way. (I have to say, I've worked a lot of jobs in and out of school, and this is by far one of the most poorly managed and least professional corporations, in my opinion. I know that sounds like I'm venting because of getting laid off, but really, it's been an issue since day one.) Also, my manager gave me the "heads up" on Monday, only to ask me to be a champ and help out the rest of the week. Say wha? (Needless to say, I have been less than motivated...)

I know this is a pretty open post, and perhaps one I will regret later, but I wanted to share why things have been stressful lately/I haven't posted much. I am hoping for a good severance package and some time to really figure out what I want to be doing, and how to get there, rather than just taking any old admin job that comes along. I just wish the timing were better. (So Heavenly Father did answer my prayers...just not in the exact way I wanted.)

On a positive note, this will give me some time to spend with Ginnie and Cam, who come to visit next week - yesssssssssss!

P.S. If anyone knows of any corporate training/writing/HR jobs, please let me know. For now I think I'd like to stay in Richmond, but heaven knows I'm not tied down. I've applied thus far to jobs in Richmond, NoVA/DC and Raleigh. What's a few other states here & there?