3/29/07

Just because I love The Office

Here are some of my more favorite quotes for your enjoyment:

Jim Halpert: Because right now, this is a job. If I advance any higher, this would be my career. And if this were my career, I'd have to throw myself in front of a train
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Michael Scott: You'll notice, I didn't have anybody being Arab. I thought that would be too explosive, uh, no pun intended. But I just thought, "too soon" for Arabs, maybe next year. You know, the ball's in their court.
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Dwight Schrute: Would I ever leave this company? Look, I'm all about loyalty. In fact, I feel like part of what I'm being paid for here is my loyalty. But if there were somewhere else that valued loyalty more highly, I'm going wherever they value loyalty the most.
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Dwight Schrute: Through concentration, I can raise and lower my cholesterol at will.
Pam Beesley: Why would you wanna raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.
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Dwight Schrute: Studies show that more information is passed through watercooler gossip than through official memos, which puts me at a disadvantage because [picks up water bottle]
I bring my own water to work.
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Dwight Schrute: I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
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Dwight Schrute: So you got the fax. So why didn't you add it to the resume? What do you mean? Of course martial arts training is relevant. Oh excuse me, I know about a billion Asians that would beg to differ. Uh, yeah, I get a little frustrated when I'm dealing with incompetence. Well, you know what? You can go to hell and I will see you there. Burning. Fine. Oh, wait, so you'll let me know when you've made a decision?
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Jim Halpert: Dwight thinks it's Friday so that's what I'm going to be doing this afternoon.
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Michael Scott: Would I rather be feared or loved? Um... Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
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Jim Halpert: Michael stands in front of the boat and says he's king of the world within the first hour, or I give you my next paycheck.
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Dwight Schrute: I.D. badges are long overdue. Security in this office park is a joke. Last year, I came to work with my spud gun in a duffel bag. I sat at my desk all day, with a rifle that shoots potatoes at 60 pounds per square inch. Can you imagine if I was deranged?
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Dwight Schrute: Women are like wolves. If you want a wolf, you have to trap it. You have to snare it. And then you have to tame it. Keep it happy. Care for it. Feed it. Lovingly, the way an animal deserves to be loved. And my animal deserves a lot of loving.
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Michael Scott: You may look around, and see two groups here. White collar, blue collar. But I don't see it that way. You know why not? Because I am collar-blind.
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Michael Scott: I swore to myself if I ever got to walk around the room as manager, people would laugh as they saw me coming, and they'd applaud as I walked away.
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Jan: I am taking a calculated risk. What’s the upside? I overcome my nausea, fall deeply in love, babies, normalcy, no more self-loathing. What’s the downside? I date Michael Scott publicly and collapse on myself like a dying star.
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Dwight: Whenever I’m about to do something, I think “would an idiot do that?” and if they would, I do not do that thing.
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Phyllis: Yes, I put Michael in my wedding, it was the only way I could think to get six weeks off for my honeymoon. No one else has ever gotten six weeks before…
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Michael: [at his George Foreman grill] Look at that. Nothing like grilling in the great outdoors.
Ryan: Is this the same grill you grilled your foot on?
Michael: No…yes…but I got all the foot off of it.

1 comment:

What's Her Face said...

:) I love the office :)